Clucky

-adj

when a woman is feeling broody. this means that she is starting to see babies, and all that having one entails, in a much more positive light. she may start mentioning things like her "biological clock" and maybe even do something as drastic as stop taking the pill in order to satisfy her maternal urges. 

Not exactly, but yes, it's official, I'm going to have a brood.  No more "low-key I have one kid" and can get away unnoticed without too many sympathetic/judgmental stares.  Two kids is officially like, a family, right?  Being a "mom" will now be the major part of my identity.  A clucking hen with a flock of chicks - if only we were so orderly and they just followed me around.  


Today we were sitting at a restaurant, a couple sat down at the table next to us and as they were approaching us gave my daughter a sweet smile - aw she's so cute.  True.  But not too long after that, I could sense the horror sneaking into their faces.  Ok it wasn't that bad, but dealing with a toddler who doesn't understand or can't express what she wants can be, well, frustrating at best - nightmarish at worst.  And we haven't even hit the 'terrible twos' yet.


Proving this point perhaps, some of the mom's (recent first timers like myself) in my building flashed me the "God is she crazy?" look when they first found out.  I totally noticed it, hey I give myself that look quite often these days.  And also the "God help me" one, all the time.


14 weeks and counting!  In my previous post about being pregnant, I totally failed to think about doing the whole thing again but with a young wild human to wrangle.  This is so far a totally different experience from the last time, and to be honest I hardly have time to think about being pregnant at all - besides the moments of anxiety and disbelief, being overly tired and at times physically sick.  And how, for example, am I going to explain  to her "Don't kick mummy's belly please!"


All that aside, of course I am excited - I think - although I don't think it has fully hit me yet.  I will be properly 'showing' soon, so I guess that will help it sink in.  It's scary, that's for sure. But I know it will be great in the end, once I get through the torturous next few years. Heh heh.  Luckily the little bastards are so cute and amazing, that even the most overwhelming frustrations are forgotten almost instantaneously, day after day.  Focus on that...Breathe.  Must find inner cluckiness.