When we were little, and still of course, my sister and I loved films. Film watching was a favorite pastime in my family - my mother slept through them, grandfather nodded through them while grandma confirmed all the women were whores, and my father cockily confirmed that he "wrote this film", meanwhile my sister and I were busy memorizing - from Disney's ballads to Woody's facetious intellectual musings. We would watch them again and again, mastering all the scenes, dramatizing the big ones and relishing in the nuances we discovered in the small ones. These are two films that left the greatest impressions on us both - and to this day we could execute a brilliant, if ridiculous, 2 woman show of most scenes.
Soapdish (1991) follows, behind the scenes and on-camera, a team of actors from soap opera 'The Sun Also Sets', as their lives unravel into a soap opera of its own.
My sister who is now an actress, and sites Soapdish as the primary inspiration for her to become an actress, refers to it as an "Opera," and rightly so.
This film is brilliant because it doesn't fall exactly into any category...With such an all-star cast, even for its time, it didn't really become a cult classic (although I think it does have a band of hardcore followers), at the same time it's so screwball and theatrical that it doesn't fit in with the mainstream comedies. Too famous to be kitsch, too kitsch to be famous, or something like that. Thus, sadly, underrated.
Anyway, here are the lines from one of our favorite scenes to perform, for ourselves (Yea we were weird. Btw, my sister is 6 years my junior - so I was especially weird and she was especially precocious.) -- although every line is genius. And while totally deserving of home re-enactment, I'm not completely sure about the idea for a Hollywood remake. Will have to wait and see - the young hip writer they hired could be promising!
Ex-lovers Celeste and Jeffrey film their first scene together after 20 years, which Jeffrey keeps botching on purpose:
Jeffrey: Sorry. I just didn't feel anything. One more time?
(they kiss) Oh Celeste,
Celeste: Yea. (she kicks him in the nuts)
J: Oh Celeste (in pain) I've thought about nothing, except what we once were. How we made magic.
(That's a cut)
C: That one was good for me.
J: Celeste!! Don't you dare run away from me. That was completely unprofessional.
C: That was unprofessional? What was that crap you were trying to pull on me?
J: I was just trying to get the scene right. I'm a perfectionist you know that.
C: Look Jeffrey, things are hard for me right now, in life and on the show. okay?
J: Things were hard for me 20 years ago when you spat me out and left me for dead!
C: And you're back to return the favor? Is that what this is, some kind of revenge thing?
J: Huho, don't flatter yourself. I'm here for me! I got a chance at a career, and I'm not gonna blow it this time! David's going to help me produce my one-man Hamlet off-Broadway, and the world is going to rediscover a major talent.
C: You believe David? ahaahaha
J: You're trying to get rid of me, it won't work. I'm not goin back to Florida no how. You try playing Willy Loman in front of a bunch of old farts eating meat loaf! Chewing and slurping and spitting out their pits. Every night listening to them coughing and hacking and runting! I was in hell! Consigned there by you!
C: What happened to your career was not my fault!
J: That's not how I see it!
C: Look Jeffrey, If I hurt you, I'm really sorry, I was very young.
J: Not anymore, babe. What's your hurry anyway? Gotta get to the mall? (SLAP in the face)...Give them my best in Paramus.
Ariel: Yummy!
Montana: With a spoon.
A: He's mine. You touch, you die.
M: I wouldn't dream of it. He's perfect for you.
And you can find a Soapdish script here.
Then there is Moonstruck (1987), our family favorite, another gem we loved to perform. This one got the recognition it well deserved, with a couple of Oscars to boot. It has a wonderful play-like feeling which gives it an intimacy that is quirky and lovable. The characters in the film are fantastic:
- There is Loretta (Cher), who is so sassy and bossy and cool -"You gotta hat? Use ya hat."
- Ronnie, by Nic Cage with his lovely (and characteristic) over-the-top rage and emotional performing.
- Cosmo (Vincent Gardenia) who fears death, but is sooo suave it hurts - "Birds fly to the stars I guess."
- Rose (Olympia Dukakis), the mother of Sass - "You gotta love bite on ya neck."
- Clumsy Johhny.
- Confused grandpa, and his dogs.
And everyone in between....
And here, the deliciously hammy monologue by the fiery Ronnie Cammareri, when Loretta comes to invite him to her and his (estranged) brother's wedding:
RONNY: Have you come from my brother?
Beautiful. Mad. Imagine if that is how you met your future husband.
(Here is the whole Script.)
And just for fun, here's more of Nicolas Cage "Losing his Shit." Love him and that puppy dog face.
Posts
3 comments:
You my actress, you
Funny. I can imagine two of you jumping around the house, doing the scenes.
Slobs, was there ever any other film for us, besides Top Secret?
this is amazing
Post a Comment