Slobs in Iran

Slobs: OK, where shall I begin?

Neenee: Airport. Or plane?

Slobs: Sure. Arrival to Imam Khomeini Airport seemed like arriving to Serbia. The plane landed at 5am so we had to wake up the passport control guys. There were 4 booths for foreigners, but only one guy to check our passports. As he was slowly walking towards the booths we were all trying to guess which booth he’ll sit in. I was betting on booth n.2, but our sleepy policemen passed it by, so I rushed towards the booth n.4 and ended up in the middle of the line. That was ok, as it took only 15 minutes to go through the procedure. Guys at the back of the line probably had to wait 30 minutes, but hey, it’s not that different in JFK or Heathrow, for Serbs at least.

The airport is an excellent building, brand new and clean. Even though it was 5am there were many people waiting for their relatives, and I noticed that many of them had bouquets of flowers.

Neenee: Some ugly flowers?

Slobs: Not at all. It was quite nice, and I thought it was a good idea. I waited for people so many times at airports, but never with flowers.

Neenee: I’m not surprised. What about the plane, did you notice women putting on their hejabs in the last minute?

Slobs: Yep, none of the women had it on in Istanbul, and all of them had it on for the passport control. It was a last minute action, just before we left the aircraft.

I went on to take a taxi and I was very glad to see that it functions quite well. There are 2 official companies that get you to central Tehran for around $15. The drivers have their IDs displayed, and they report through Motorola about the passenger and destination as soon as you enter the vehicle, so I felt completely safe. It takes about an hour to get to town, and I quite enjoyed watching sleepy Tehran waking up. It looked astonishingly gigantic, as we were passing block after block of apartment buildings, something like suburbs of Moscow :)

Neenee: So what about when you saw Neenee? Have I changed?

Slobs: I’ll come to that later. First I want to describe my first impressions of this place. I don’t know if other readers of your blog got the same impression, but I had a feeling that Tehran was going to be way different than other middle-eastern cities, somehow more organized, more European or something.

Neenee: It definitely has the middle-eastern flavour, but I think it’s pretty unique.

Slobs: Well, honestly, I couldn’t spot any difference between Tehran and say, Amman.

Neenee: What do you mean you couldn’t spot a difference? You just said you’ve seen block after block of high-rises. It’s massive!
Slobs: Yep, but I’m not talking about size here (you are such a girl, thinking of size first). It’s the layout, highways that don’t have marked lanes, pavements that are separated from the driveway by a foot-high vertical curb. The highway would change from 4 to 2 lanes without any warning, or you’d have a tractor in the fastest lane, without any lights.

Neenee: Add a married couple in the back and you are in Serbia :)

Slobs: Sort of. It is just about my expectations, I expected it to be different, and I’m not saying it’s bad, I love middle-east, so it’s not about that. For example, you were talking about Vali Asr being the most beautiful street in Tehran, and it has pretty cool trees, but also Cairo style traffic and Basra style motorbike drivers that make their way through the crowded sidewalks…

Neenee: Anyway, I'm not sure if I've given this general impression to other readers. And Vali Asr Street is much prettier when trees have leaves. And maybe it’s considered one of the prettiest comparing to the rest of Tehran.

Slobs: Exactly. So what to expect from the rest? Anyhow, once I was over with the shock of the first impression, I started enjoying it a lot. Actually, this entire post is going to be about first impressions, because I’ve been here just for 5 days now, so I didn’t even scratch under the surface. However, I know I would like it here a lot.

Neenee: Why? Because of skiing? :)

Slobs: That too, but mostly because of the middle-east-easy-goingness. I felt that in conversations with people, that ‘mafi mushkileh’ approach to life, how do you say that in Farsi?

Neenee: Several ways, moshkeli nist…or eshqali nadareh (no problem)

Slobs: Yep, whatever your problem is – take it easy, we’ll find a solution.

Neenee: You have to think like that here, or you’ll go crazy. It is laid back, but it’s also the way to cope with difficulties, maybe.

Slobs: Probably, it is very soothing, relaxing.

Neenee: And how do you like the kabab?

Slobs: Excellent, almost like in Serbia :)
You could use some pork in that mixture!

Neenee: Pork is ok, but not in kabab!

Slobs: You’ll learn one day. Anyhow, I liked other food even better. Dizzi, aka Ab Gousht (pronounced with your fingers opening and closing my lips, aababababbb gougougoushhhhht). For our Serbian readers, this is very similar to what my mom calls Rinflaish, which is when you boil a chicken soup, but after it’s boiled you take out all the vegetables and meat to serve just the soup, and then use the veggies and meat for the main course. In Serbia you eat it with horseradish, in Iran you mash up the meat and beans until it’s like a thick paste and eat it with fresh herbs, bread and pickles (turshi).

We came across a no-name hole in the wall restaurant in Tajrish market that served excellent Baqali polo, which is rice with baqali (lima) beans and roasted lamb. That area is really great for the little food stands and holes which serve big delicious portions of worker’s type foods. We popped in one of those for tasty bowl of Ash – traditional thick herb soup (chorba) with beans and noodles topped with fried mint and kashk (something like yogurt). Yummi!!

Neenee: But you didn’t try the boiled beets, what kind of Russian are you?

Slobs: Bad one, obviously. I know it’s a local delicacy, but I’m at odds with beets. Maybe some other time. You see, we are real Iranians now, constantly talking about the food.

Neenee: Ok, lets move on then.

Slobs: Deal. Friday bazaar – Jomeh bazaar. I’m not really a bazaar type of person, but this one was a delight. Bazaars I’ve seen usually sell Chinese junk that people buy only if they have no other choice. Jomeh bazaar was nothing like that, as it was mostly antiques and local produce that was on display. The antiques were not some boring porcelain dishes or some expensive pointless furniture, but really interesting practical things that people used at the time. Like, a Victorian coffee grinder from England, or Russian photo cameras from early 20^th century. I especially liked those locks, like the one in the picture, that came in shapes of a bird, cow, or a colorful horse. They are not some artsy designs, these are real locks used in real households.

Neenee: We asked the guy who was selling them why they were made so pretty, and he responded in melancholic Iranian style – “in general everything was made prettier back then”.

And all the old money, Yugoslav, Russian…Old photographs, maps, jewelry…it’s like a giant time capsule.

Slobs: Yes, and that German helmet from the oil-drilling team, back in the 30s.

Neenee: You also described our apartment as a time capsule!

Slobs: The apartment is great. It reminds me of communist Yugoslavia, where kitchen appliances weighed in average more than 20 kilos. And moving the oven 2 meters would require 5 men. We even succeeded to play music from Masoud’s magnetophon (AKA reel-to-reel !!).

Neenee: Yea after 30 years of silence! That was a crazy moment. Disco flashback!

Slobs: I really liked the mix, Masoud obviously had a fun party. Starting out with easy pop tunes, advancing to some serious upbeat disco, and finishing with 20 minutes of slow dance/make-out music. Well done Mr. Khoshnoudi. We loved Roxy Music – ‘Love is the drug’, and David Bowie’s ‘Fame’ layered between some mean funky tunes.

Neenee: There was even P Funk! :)
Okay, so how about the ski trip, we just got back from--with achy and muscles I never knew existed!

Slobs: We wanted to go to Dizin, the bigger of the 2 main ski resorts. But we couldn’t, and although the taxi service assured us to get there in 2 hours, we ended up staying in Shemshak because the road to Dizin was closed. Organizing that trip was pure Middle Eastern experience, as nobody could give us info on whether the road was open or closed. Not even the taxi service whose business is driving people from point A to B.

Neenee: Yes, and it seems the cab operators don’t really communicated with the drivers, so even when you come to some agreement on the phone, the driver shows up with no knowledge!

Slobs: However, Shemshak turned out to be an excellent experience; it was my first chance to snowboard on an altitude above 3000meters. I have to say that I have rarely come across such a quality of snow. These days in Europe you have to rely on artificial snow, but on 3500 meters, you are guaranteed heaps of fresh power since it snows often.

@Kopaonik Crew: The ski center reminded me of the top part of Jahorina, minus Pracha. 2 chairlifts take you to the top, from which you have 3 official routes, and thousands of free-riding possibilities. Small roads cut the hills on either side of the slopes, giving excellent opportunities for jumps, and landing in meters of deep snow. I really missed you guys, we would tear that mountain apart (pojeli bismo planinu).

Neenee: What about the hotel? Any other impressions of Shemshak?

Slobs: We had the privilege to stay in a hotel that is right on the slope, in a warm and clean double room for 30 Euros a night.

Neenee: Yes it was decent. The hotel was very empty, a bit eerie, like another time capsule! Seemed like we were the only guests…

Slobs: Funny thing, Iranians seem not to stay in hotels in 7 days holiday stretches. They rather go several weekends in a row, than just once in the season. We happened to be there on regular working days, so the hotel was empty. But the slopes were all ours.

Neenee: Yes, and some people come for day trips (only an hour from Tehran), and many have or rent apartments

Slobs: Well, that’s another peculiarity. Only one hotel, and hundreds of apartments, and several high rises. It is quite a pity that building isn’t very regulated, the place is becoming ugly. There are 3 cafes in the entire ski center, and after 6 pm all you could do is go to your room and sleep.

Neenee: Yea, bring a book! TV is crap unless you enjoy the repetitive horror of BBC world, or lucky enough like you were to find a football match such as Liverpool v. Manchester City. J

Or find a party…that’s another reason people prefer apartments, you have more privacy. Everyone gets takeout or delivery, and sits at home with a glass of whiskey, for example. Like the young guys who invited us up for a drink. They seemed eager to show us that Iranians like to have a drink once in awhile, and some of them even take a little flask up on the mountain…

Slobs: Who would ever want to go to a café if you can’t drink or dance?

Neenee: Um, you would? They were just missing some backgammon!!

Slobs: Yep. So people prefer to go to each other’s apartments and organize some small private parties. The result, 1 hotel, 3 cafes, and 100s of private housing.

But, if the aim is to have a good ski day, Alborz mountains offer great conditions. I had several unforgettable rides.

Neenee: Yes, and hopefully we’ll get to check out Dizin this week. It’s a bit further, maybe couple hours, but the slopes are wider and not as steep and bumpy as Shemshak. You wouldn’t believe me, but Shemshak was really hard, especially the first day! Second day, the weather was so unbelievably perfect that everyone was so happy, including me. There was a great atmosphere on the slope, and the snow was soft also, so Neenee finally did some turns J

Slobs: Lets not forget to mention that taxi ride with a glorious Paykan from Tehran to Shemshak costs about $15, the day ski pass $14, Rent of Snowboard+boots $15, and giant meal in restaurant with soup and drinks about $6.

Neenee: Not bad.

Ready to Rock!?

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Tehran Impressions

To be continued…